


Love (to) Spoon

by thoopsy



Series: GiBO-verse, I Guess! [2]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Reposting because it placed it alllll the way back in the list of fics, This is my part for a gift exchange!, and no one is gonna find it on the 21st if AO3 thinks I posted it the 16th, they're engaged! but they're waiting for the wedding, until cake exists again [they want cake]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoopsy/pseuds/thoopsy
Summary: This is a present for a gift exchange. There isn't much plot here, but if you want to read 4000 words of Barney Calhoun and Gordon Freeman loving each other a lot? I have got the story for you.Technically this is in the same universe as Gordon in Breen's Office, What Propaganda Will He Make but you don't need to read that to understand this, or vice versa.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Series: GiBO-verse, I Guess! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064696
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Love (to) Spoon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frostios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostios/gifts).



> This IS set after HL2:E2, but if you're worried about spoilers for my fic, don't be! We all know I'm gonna give them a happy ending, the fun will be seeing how I get them here.
> 
> ALSO, this is very important. I told the recipient of this, Sara Frostios, that next time I posted something I'd be getting back at her for putting me in Gay Baby Jail WITHOUT the ability to talk! At least let me infodump!
> 
> I can't do anything too mean, this is a gift, so: IF she manages to not read this chapter for 5 minutes after reading these words or becoming aware of them, she can have the deleted scene.
> 
> As for the rest of you! I hope you enjoy this!!

There was a chill in the air this morning.

It was the first thing Gordon noticed when he was awake enough for complex thought. The second thing he noticed was that he’d left the lamp on last night. He must’ve passed out looking at the draft treaty they were making for City 2. 

It boiled down to a mutual _please don’t kill us_ , and was super important to put in place before they got to trade and transporting.

Most of White Forest agreed it’d be accepted best from The One Free Man himself. So he got a little say in the wording.

Gordon reached a hand out of their blanket pile to switch the light off. It was always a little further away than he’d like it to be, but he never remembered to move it when he was up. 

At first, he missed and his hand met the cold metal part of their lamp, which shocked him a little more awake. He followed the length of the pole up to the switch. Lever? What were the rotating things called? 

He heard Barney groan and, too late, Gordon realized his mistake. By disrupting the dome, and taking too long, he’d let out their bodies’ shared heat, letting in a little more of that early winter chill. 

Quickly he retracted it. A little too quickly, his hand brushed against something warm. From the way he jumped, it was Barney.

“ _Guhh_ , when’d you get popsicle fingers, Doc?” He grumbled and with what was half a stretch, and half an effort to push Gordon away, established himself as awake. “And _why.”_

Gordon rolled his eyes, and planted a kiss around where Barney’s cheek _should_ be. His vision hadn’t adjusted yet to the sudden darkness, but it landed. He heard him sigh.

“Least your lips aren’t cold...” Seemingly forgiven, or maybe just prioritizing the most of him that was still warm, Barney pulled him close again, snuggling into his shoulder. 

For a long moment, they just laid together in a comfortable silence. Gordon started to wonder where he could stick his hand to warm it back up that wouldn’t have Barney yelling at him. 

Their bed creaked when Barney shifted his weight, turning towards him.

By now, he could make out the movement by the light coming through the crack in their door. “I don’t wanna be, but I think I might be up.” Barney admitted, muffled against his sleep shirt.

Back Before, he’d never seen him fail to doze back off. Gordon didn’t know if it was aging, or maybe the stress of everything they’d been through, that made his sleep so much easier to disturb. It didn’t really matter. There was no going back.

Easier to get him up before they were late for things! Well, for the most part. 

Since sleep was out, Gordon stuck his arm back out to the side table. He clicked his Electronic Pad on, Alyx called it a Paddie, to check the time. Even at the lowest setting it instantly ruined any night vision he’d been working up. Barney seemed to agree about the brightness, burrowing his face further into his shoulder. 

“Do I _wanna_ know what time it is?” 

Well, it was 6:14 am, and neither of them had anything to do until the afternoon today so… He pressed a hand against Barney’s chest. “No.”

He groaned over-exaggeratedly and pulled himself somehow closer. It was almost enough to make him laugh.

It was, honestly, funny how clingy he was when he was sleepy. He really liked that about him. Gordon always used to be too nervous to initiate touch, personally, and having the guy fall asleep on him a couple times helped break the ice. 

He remembered what he was supposed to be doing, and checked the messaging application. It was lit up with a single message.

 _It’s done!_ From Alyx.

He sent back a simple B], which was a smiling face. Using a B to represent his eyes was actually something Doctor Kleiner suggested to him. It was very cute, he approved.

With six or more hours to spend with Barney, and _it_ being finished, today was setting itself up to be a very nice day.

* * *

Today was one of Barney’s _bad_ days. He didn’t know what he’d do if Gordon wasn’t here to help him when his leg gave out under him. 

Probably fall flat on his face, and lay on the floor until it stopped hurting so much, if he was to venture a guess. 

Point was, instead he got his big, strong guy to help him limp to the shower. _Any_ man’s dream.

“What a catch, right?” He quipped, and Gordon shot him a wink. Barney exaggerated a lovestruck swoon, and delighted in Gordon’s quiet, breathy laugh. Sometimes he had to strain his ears to hear it but it was always worth the effort.

Barney took his seat on the shower stool and washed Gordon’s hair while he tried to explain their trade agreement’s timeline as best he could, for someone who barely understood it himself. 

(It was kind of an awkward position, with Gordon having to kneel to be reachable, but the guy’d never liked touching sudsy hair. Just one of those things.)

All this stuff was becoming typical again. Ironically, that made it extra special. For a long time now, he hadn’t had the time to settle into pleasant routines. 

He still carried everything important he owned in a small bag on his hip, for instance. It was waiting for him on top his clothing pile, out beyond the shower stall.

Gordon just kept talking, occasionally bumping one of Barney’s knees with an elbow by accident. He moved so smoothly from one word to the next, even with his eyes closed to keep out the soapy water running down his face as Barney washed his hair out. 

He couldn’t see the sappy expression Barney threw his way. That was okay too, though. There’d be plenty more where this one came from. 

* * *

White Forest was living up to its name today, under a fresh coat of snow. Unlike where Barney’d grown up, when it fell, it stuck. Covered the trees, the ground, D0G’s new house out back in a thick coat of pure white.

Back in City 17, winter seemed so dreary. It was amazing how much more pristine the snow was around here. Sure, nothing had a real shot at mussing it up yet, but he felt like it _fell_ grey, back then.

Snow could be nice to look at but it was also a relief to not _have_ to go outside the base for anything. Trekking through the snow in too-thin CP gear, leg stiff and hurting from the cold, was somehow in the top 10 worst things about that gig.

So, no, he was not looking forward to the _holiday season_. Even with the Combine functionally gone, all this snow was nothing special to him.

Gordon, however? He was positively tickled.

He’d just come from a couple years in the desert, so the way his eyes sparkled as he was suiting up for the cold… Barney wished he’d gotten a picture. 

Currently, Barney was watching the security cams. They’d consolidated all of the outside camera feeds to one… Channel, or something, so now you only needed one person on watch at a time. He, of course, was a regular volunteer cam watcher. Some things never changed. 

Everyone’d been busy recently, setting the world back up as best anyone could.

Gordon and the rest of the Kleiner-Vance clan had been coordinating with City 19’s scientists to get an active teleport going. It’d be useful for everyone if supplies could be exchanged when someone had an excess, human cooperation, you know.

But that wasn’t all. People remained scattered across the globe, just like always. City 2 was still happy to argue about betrayal clauses, City 27 was in a wildly different timezone and was putting off coordinating _anything_ at the moment. Gordon always got Cities 7 and 11 mixed up in his head, something about prime numbers, so Barney had no idea what the deal was with those two.

It wasn’t like Barney was _trying_ to remember, anyway. He wasn’t particularly interested in all the little things they were having to take care of. Metals, material substitutions when folks didn’t have the right supplies, calculations, all that. Personally, he was just excited to be getting trade from somewhere fruit grew.

Damn, he missed fruit.

Well, point was, Gordon and Alyx deserved a break more than just about anybody, and they were taking one. He was watching them on the cams as they made, of all things, snowfolk.

Or he thought that’s what they were doing, anyway? D0G kept rolling person-sized snowballs, and he couldn’t think of any other reason to do that.

Barney’s hands were cold just watching them. 

Well, they were cold for two reasons. He always kept his carving knife and a block of wood on him, something to do. But he had the best control without bulky gloves on, so cold hands were just something he had to deal with. 

The Resistance could always use more arrows, or fishing rods, or novelty musical instruments. 

Recently his skills’d been in higher demand. Folks were free to celebrate holidays again and it was all the rage to get the person you were hoping to rebuild humanity with a gift.

He’d been making a _lot_ of rings. Most of them engraved with Lambdas, of course. Made him glad the Lambda Lab hadn’t been the Lowercase Xi Lab or something. 

Barney wasn’t a fool, though. He’d gotten his own gift for Gordon out of the way. Say it another way, he’d painstakingly made sure his gift for Gordon was perfect before he started on this ring he was working on now. The sanding, the staining, the seasoning, all taken care of.

He lifted his blade from the wood and looked over each screen in turn, then brought his gaze back to two of the greatest minds of their generations. Alyx lobbed a snowball.

Her aim was impeccable. 

Everything was kind of pixelated through the camera feed, but Gordon was so visibly shocked that it was kind of funny. She seemed to agree, doubling over with laughter. 

Gordon's posture stiffened as he straightened himself to his full height. Alyx fell into a looser stance, ready to dash. D0g stood tall, probably with an audible creak, to tower over them both.

For a moment, everything was frozen and still. All three of them waiting to see who’d make the first move.

Then came the most intense snowball fight Barney’d ever seen. He was _real_ glad they were on _his_ side.

* * *

  
Gordon _felt_ teeth-chatteringly cold, but in reality he was just full body shivering cold.

Despite that, there was a grin on his face as he, D0g, and Alyx stumbled back inside. He started wringing some of the quickly-melting snow from his scarf in the airlock. (Well, it was a series of huge, metal doors they used _like_ an airlock. White Forest didn’t have the same decontamination system as the Black Mesas.)

It’d been a long time since he’d gotten to play in the snow. Twenty-three years, technically. 

Just as fun as he remembered! Like all snow days, though, he was most excited for the next part. 

Shaking off the snow, changing into new clothes if they were too soaked, and eating something warm. It sounded nice! Especially with _how much_ snow had just been dumped on him.

He should’ve expected D0g to team up with Alyx.

“Wait until Olga hears I won a snowball fight against _The_ _Freeman_.” Alyx quipped, brushing snow off her shoulders. 

He gave her A Look with one raised brow as he removed his mitts. They were each shoved in their own pocket. “I don’t remember declaring you winner.” His fingers were a little stuff, but she got the gist.

“Hey, just because you didn’t concede-” She was interrupted by D0G doing what dogs do best. Shaking stuff off themselves and onto… Everything else.

D0g’s shape didn’t lend itself to snow piling up, but with their sheer size, they still managed to shake a generous snowcone’s worth off and onto Alyx, who was standing closer by.

Anything that landed on him was negligible to what had just happened out in the field. 

Instead, he found himself more affected by the sound. It could be compared to an out of tune wind chime in a thunderstorm. 

He tried not to visibly wince. Instead, he said, “I think D0G won.” Gordon shot a wink D0G’s way. In response, D0g raised themself higher and made a proud sort of whirring sound.

“Fine, I can’t wait until I tell Olga that _D0g_ won a snowball fight against the One Free Man.” She patted them on the arm, but seemed to regret it as soon as she touched the cold metal. Those were the quickest pats D0g had ever gotten.

The second door opened for them with the loud sounds of metal creaking and clanging. Sometimes he missed being able to turn his hearing down, but Gordon relished in the comparatively warmer air of the base rushing out to meet them.

Standing there, next to the door’s mechanism, was Barney. “Let’s get you somethin’ warm to drink, Darlin’.” 

He was leaning against the wall. To anyone else, it’d probably look casual. It brought a frown to Gordon’s face, though. Was his leg still bothering him?

It wasn’t a short walk back to the Mess, and with all of them being cold to the touch… This wasn’t going to work. 

Gordon held up one finger and turned to Alyx. It was time.

* * *

Gordon was an odd fellow. Barney’d known that since their first vent race, but it could still be surprising when that genius brain of his went off three different ways before it arrived at an answer to a question. 

Sometimes it didn’t arrive at all, but that was fine too. 

So he’d just asked him if he’d like something warm to eat, which was practically rhetorical, but Gordon’d told him to wait and now D0g was blocking his view.

He adjusted his weight a little. There’d been a chair near the camera screens, no such luck by the cranks. He didn’t mind waiting, never minded waiting for Gordon, but he _did_ mind the burning pain in his knee. 

It’s what he got for locking it in place, but the other option was taking a fall. An if-only-someone’d-catch-me 22.

Remind him not to repeat that one out loud.

The clattering of D0g’s walking pulled him out of that thought process. Good timing, he was at risk of thinking about the _whys_ of his knees, which was never fun.

They’d sure talked fast. There were snowflakes still glittering on Gordon’s hair. His rosy cheeks and neon green scarf didn’t match the serious expression on his face as he said. “I’d love soup, but first. Do you want your gift?”

Oh! They were doing that today, huh? Barney let his head thud dully against the wall, probably tilting his smile even further off kilter. “Ready whenever you are, though Alyx-”

“Is about to be going!” She interrupted, and gestured for D0g to pick her up. “Looks like we’ve got somewhere to be, see you boys later!” 

The two of them went running off into the base. He’d never heard someone open and close the next door quite that fast.

That reaction didn’t exactly seem natural, but he wasn’t gonna call them out on it. Instead, he quipped, “I’m gonna have to talk to them about not making men into snowmen later, remind me won’t you?”

Gordon sighed lightly and nodded, one arm behind his back. He couldn’t imagine he’d liked having an entire Hunter-sized snowball dumped on his head much more than Barney’d liked watching it happen.

He started putting his gloves back on in preparation to touch Gordon’s cold, cold hands when something was handed to him.

It was very small, could fit in his bag easily. That being said, he had no idea what it was for. On one end was something like a decorative glass doorknob in swirling blues and oranges, the other end was rubber tipped, and between them both was a nice tube of metal. Undented.

Then he found a small button next to the knob and, with an audible snap, it went from a doohickey to a _full sized metal cane._

Oh, wow. They must’ve made this custom, canes weren’t easy to come by these days! Especially not fancy ones like these! He couldn’t say for sure that lightweight telescoping canes didn’t exist before but he wasn’t aware of them, if they were.

He felt himself grinning before he could even think to do it. “Gordon, I...” Barney glanced down at the ground, making sure the rubber bottom was flat before he rested his weight on it, “I don’t know what to say.”

“If you don’t like the handle, it’s removable.” 

His view of Gordon was getting a little blurry when Barney pulled him into a hug, careful not to whack him with his new blunt force weapon. “You’re so sweet on me, I’m _so lucky_.” A hand went to his hair, Gordon didn’t mind it dry, and the other was on his back. “Don’t think you’re gonna get to stop holding me though, alright? I’m never letting go of you.”

Gordon’s hand snaked under Barney’s poncho so he could feel a gentle _yes_ against his back. Then the man went and kissed him on the top of his head, like a real sweet pea. 

They stood like that for a few moments, until Barney started to notice how cold and wet Gordon’s scarf was against his cheek. He pulled away a little. “Okay, not literally. You need to towel off.” 

Gordon nodded with a little smile and they separated.

Somehow this cane was the perfect height, even with how short he was. They’d really done their research.

“I’m so glad you like it, Barney.” And, fuck if he didn’t still love how his own name was signed. Maybe it was a bit weird to say, but sometimes he felt like the way Gordon smiled every time he said it was his version of using dozens of pet names. You know, like Barney did. “Alyx and I spent a long time making it useful. Knife mode was her idea, though.”

 _“Knife mode?_ Oh THIS I’ve gotta hear, doc.”

Their walk back to their room was certainly interesting. Gordon had a lot to say about his new cane’s construction, and Barney was incredibly willing to listen.

* * *

Barney’d went ahead to the Mess Hall once they reached their room. He was eager to get their food ordered and save them a seat.

Gordon didn’t mind. He changed into his coziest turtleneck. The soft one Barney liked, with the Lambda embroidered over the heart. He’d have to change into the HEV suit for a meeting later, for _diplomatic reasons,_ but for now, it was nice to stay in normal, fabric clothing. 

The Mess was directly attached to The Kitchens. They were both open to anyone, though a couple of the Vorts and one very dedicated Rebel made most of the food.

On Barney’s good leg days, sometimes he’d surprise him by making dinner himself. Like last night, actually. He’d made him a fantastic vegetable stir fry and brought it directly to him in the meeting room. 

There wasn’t a rule against that, so Magnusson could only be _very_ upset instead of _incredibly_ upset.

Anyway, with how much of a cultural hub these rooms were, they were one of the first places the Resistance had hooked up with a _proper_ sound system. When Magnusson wasn’t using the intercom to shout whatever he wanted, it played the highest quality music anyone had. 

As he stepped in, Gordon could hear some sort of an instrumental piece over the natural ambiance that came with groups of people cooking and eating together. Quieter than the lunchrooms he’d grown up in, and with a stranger assortment of furniture, but the potential for noise was strong.

It was still relatively empty compared to the room’s max capacity, which he was thankful for. It was easy to scan everyone and find that Barney was set up… Over in the corner, in one of the loveseats! Their favorite one.

He felt his face melt into a smile as he started to stroll that way.

Gordon absently waved hello to anyone who called out a _Doctor Freeman!_ or _It’s Gordon Freeman!_ as he passed. He still didn’t understand why he was so famous, but it didn’t matter.

What mattered was the festive decor someone (he’d bet his glasses it was Alyx) set up along the walls, metal stars of David and electric menorahs mounted on hooks. The “candles” were lit with blue and red bulbs, shades he recognized from Scanners and Manhacks. 

He could see the lights reflecting on the polished wooden surface of the tray table, and off of Barney’s glossy hair. 

“Come down here, I haven’t had a proper kiss all day.” Barney patted the spot next to him.

Well, he couldn’t leave such a handsome man hanging.

Gordon slipped in beside him, briefly noting he’d felt something by his feet, and gave Barney exactly what he asked for. A very nice kiss, in their very nice loveseat (they’d found it in a still-sealed breakroom of the defunct local grocer, and he’d helped with the transporting, so he felt he could stake some claim). 

Where Barney scooched over to make room for him, the seat was pleasantly warm. Where their lips met was also warm, and reassuring, like it always was. A gloved hand came to caress his face, lingering even after they were done.

“That’s better.” Was whispered to him with a sigh, “Now will you teach me how to collapse the cane? I stranded myself by dropping it.”

That was worth another quick peck on the mouth, just by how funny that was. Gordon leaned forwards to check the floor and, yup, that’s what he’d felt earlier.

He scooped it up and held it in front of both of them, upside-down. One hand rotated the handle while the other depressed the button that extended it in the first place.

It slid back to the portable position with ease.

“Okay, you two _can’t_ have expected me to get that on my own.” Barney said as he took it back.

“We didn’t want enemies collapsing your cane in the field.” Well, specifically Alyx was worried about that. But it made sense not to make it _too_ easy. It couldn’t just fall out from under him.

Despite the logic definitely checking out, Barney rolled his eyes. “Oh but Knife Mode has to be spring loaded. That’s a recipe for disaster, you know that, right?” 

That. Was a good point, too.

He didn’t have anything to say for himself, so he just sat quietly as Barney tried extending and collapsing the cane a couple times. Once he got the apparent hang of it, it was slipped into his hip bag.

“Now, don’t think I forgot about _you._ ” He said and handed Gordon a small, wooden object.

It was reddish-brown, stained the same color as the wooden wedding band he wore every day. Unlike his wedding band, though, this was an entire spoon. 

The handle was carved in a smooth, decorative spiral. He’d compare it to a barbers’ pole. It was topped with two prominent heart carvings, interlocked. The one on the left was smaller than the one on the right.

He gingerly turned it over in his hands, and found a small lambda carved in the back where the hearts met, and a year. The year they’d met.

“Don’t let your soup get cold.” 

He placed the spoon gently in his lap, “I can eat with this?”

“Aw, shoot, is it not comfortable to hold? I was trying to be careful of that, I can make you a new one.” 

Gordon frantically shook his head, “It’s perfect! Too perfect, are you sure-” He was cut off when Barney grabbed his hands, loosely so he could pull away if he wanted to.

“Of course I’m sure. I made you this spoon so you’d always have one, doll. I’m not gonna tell you _not_ to use it.”

Now reassured he wasn’t about to ruin an art piece, Gordon found himself slumping a little in his seat. 

He _did_ always dread having to get used to different silverware every meal. It was just what they could find laying around so far, which meant that nothing matched.

It was such a minor problem in his life. An annoyance, sure, but one he could live the rest of his days with. Barney’d really spent all this time carving this for him just to fix it?

He really shouldn’t let his soup get cold.

Later he’d write him a letter with the thoughts that were too mixed up to get out now. They’d make more sense that way, and it’s not like Barney minded. He seemed perfectly content to just settle in and eat his own pepper, onion, and headcrab burrito.

The spoon fit in his hand so perfectly that it was easy to stop noticing he was holding it at all. Nothing was poking him at odd angles, he could just relax, eat some veggie soup, and wonder if Barney’s taste for headcrab meat was legitimate or if it was petty revenge for Lamarr trying to eat Chubtoad all the time.

He would believe either. 

With no risk of conversation, they found themselves pressed comfortably shoulder to shoulder. Between bites Barney hummed a low note, resting his head against him. Gordon spared a hand to run through his hair. He knew what it felt like to be hurting. 

Things were getting better. He’d heard rumors that an old closet near the generators was going to be repurposed into a music studio. 

Chubtoad finally stopped trying to eat the large, decorative rock in her enclosure. 

Eli’d been quietly bragging on Alyx for somehow managing to find candles for the start of Hanukkah tomorrow night. Doctor Kleiner’s face was going to be priceless.

There were going to be lots of challenges in the future. He wasn’t looking forward to all of the politics he was going to have to be a part of later, or to doing laundry on Tuesday. 

But he was so glad that, no matter what came, he’d have Barney right here by his side…

Barney. Who was currently snoring against his shoulder.

Well, for now, he’d just be a shoulder to lean on.

**Author's Note:**

> TREKKING THROUGH THE SNOW!  
> IN TOO-THIN CP GEAR!  
> SEE A CROSSBOW BOLT?  
> THE FREE MAN IS NEAR!  
> HA HA HA!


End file.
